One down....

This is the end of my first month of resolutions.  Worked out of a total of 14 hours and lost 10lbs.  Not bad!!!  I really feel like I'm taking it a day at a time or sometimes a single decision at a time.  I used to think that every day was all or nothing.  Either I was "good" or "bad."  And when you're bad why bother trying to be better for that day, you've already failed.  This fed back on itself and just made me more and more unhappy.  I'm not used to failing.  I have worked so hard for my professional life.  It's not perfect, but I've met every goal.  I just find it so strange that I can't get it together in my personal life.  The excuse I often used was "all my abilities were consumed by school/work."  What a load of bull.  There are plenty of people who do well professionally and have a healthy lifestyle.   I used food to reward myself, but also to punish myself.  It's not just bad food choices.  It's thinking I'm not worth making good ones.  Why should I bother to take care of myself outside of work because I don't have value as a person outside of work?  Well, I've decided I'm a daughter, sister, and friend. I may not be perfect, but I can be better.  And even if I'm not perfect--sometimes jealous, angry, shallow, or awkward--I'm still worth taking care of myself.