I can still remember in elementary school being the skinny one. I can remember looking down and seeing every rib in my chest. I remember that I loved to run and play outside. So what changed?? For me, it was a little like a perfect storm--maybe that's a little dramatic, but that's how I feel now. I was this active skinny little kid, living in a small town, eating family meals. Then my family moved to a larger city and began eating out more. Pizza delivery, fast food which translates to a lot more calories. There wasn't the same outdoors space for me to play in. Organized sports were never big in my family and I had no interest in them so I stopped moving as much. Then I had major surgery on my hip due to a bone disease. I wasn't this active kid anymore. I spent over month in a wheelchair and it was a full three months before I could walk without crutches. Meanwhile, my mom was stressed and tired from trying to take care of me. So we ate out more, had more frozen/prepackaged meals, and she gave me treats to make me feel better. So I slowly recovered and gained weight. I had two more surgeries each about one year apart. Another on my hip and one on my knee. A total of three surgeries over three years. Then I experienced something I'd never felt before. I was afraid to move and run. I wasn't this fearless crazy little kid who would climb trees and jump on connecting stones across a stream without a thought. I was afraid to hurt myself, afraid I'd cause myself pain. So now there was caution in my movements. Over the course of three years, at the age of 14, my diet deteriorated, I became significantly less active, and my weight struggles began.
This continued throughout junior high and high school. I wasn't involved in sports, partly my interest and partly my family's fear for my health. I was the smart kid, taking the hardest classes and spending all my time studying. I slowly gained weight. I was teased for being heavy and fat. I would get notes in my lockers calling me names. Some even encouraged me to kill myself. "Miss Obesity, You're gross and disgusting. Why don't you just kill yourself and do everyone a favor." A doctor never diagnosed me with depression, but only because they never asked. I avoided activity in gym because they would tease me more. I lacked energy for anything but school. And I ate. And I slowly gained weight. By the time I graduated high school, I was overweight and bordering on obese.
College was better, but had even more opportunity for poor food choices. I didn't gain the typical freshman fifteen, but the freshman thirty. Eating became not only something to do when you were sad to make yourself feel better, but an important social event. You eat meals with all your friends, you go out to eat, go out of midnight taco bell, or midnight ice cream. So I ate my way though college.
From the time I was three years old, I said I wanted to be a doctor. So while I ate my way through life, I studied hard and was accepted to medical school. I ate my through medical school and half way through residency.
So ten years after high school and I had met all my goals..... I was an MD, 100lbs over my high school weight, and 150lbs over my ideal body weight (medical ideal body weight, not the media's version).
So today I've decided to wake up and start working on myself. Embarking on loosing weight and more importantly feeling better about myself. Nothing overly exciting or profound. Just a girl with first hand knowledge on the health impacts of obesity trying to change for the better. Maybe I'll succeed or at least inspire someone else to try.
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