So I went on vacation this week—flew out to visit the grandparents. I’ve thought before about those moments when you realize your weight is out of control. I had another one while on vacation. My airplane seatbelt almost didn’t fit. I squeezed, panicked, and finally got it buckled. Not a moment I ever want to repeat. I felt so ashamed. I know I’m not the person you want to sit next to on the plane. I’ve known that for years. I’ve had my friends post on facebook how miserable it is to sit next to the overweight person who takes up part of their seat. And I understand. I don’t want to be any more uncomfortable than I have to while flying. So I always request an aisle seat and lean to the side, keep my arm crossed, so I’m not touching the person next to me. I think I was trying to will myself smaller. This time I felt like I’d been slapped in the face with it. I guess when you’ve got all this other noise in your head, it takes a slap to get your attention. I have no idea why this has hit me so hard. There have been other things my weight has prevented me from doing. Maybe because this is such an everyday thing? So I have yet another reason to keep trying to lose weight. And I’ve decided to think about all those other things my weight prevented me from doing. I think I’ll mark my progress by these. I’ve hoping they will be a little more tangible than numbers. Most are stupid things, but for me they matter. My goal is to do all of them over the next two years.
1. Be a bone marrow donor
2. Sky dive
3. Run a 5k
4. Wear knee high boots
5. Be a "single digit" size
6. Not have surgical gloves roll down my forearms
7. Be able to sit on someone’s lap without worrying I’m hurting them
8. Have a guy pick me up as a joke
9. Be comfortable enough with my body to get a bikini wax
10. Have my doctor use the regular size blood pressure cuff
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